Catch up!

Catching you up since I've last been here:
I started and completed the so-called "hell" week and am still in my full course load for Summer I.
I have been volunteering at the hospital every weekend and am getting lots of hours and experience.
I am pulling two A's and already have my other A from the minimester.

Life is looking pretty good right now, to be honest.

I made really great friends in my new classes.
I feel so much more confident in my classes and I am motivated beyond belief. Even though it's a lot of work and obviously I have almost no free time (I hadn't been on here since the 5th of this month! Yikes!) I am still fully in the pursuit of my dreams.

And that's an amazing thing, right?

I really feel like ever since I've turned 20 that things have been going so well. It's not that I'm leaving things to take care of themselves, hoping that it'll fall into place by itself; no, I am constantly working for what I want in all areas of my life and I'm acting my age.

I love it.

I always knew I was going to love being "grown up" and although I've only been 20 for a month and three days and I've only seen and experienced so much, I'm fully confident in the fact that I have the skills to handle whatever I might come up against and if I don't, then I will learn.

I'm a far different person than before but I know I'm still me.

Forever your curious and growing girl,
Adriana

Yesterday was Jazzy's day off so I totally milked the fact that he could see me every minute of the day.
I waited in B&N, reading, writing, shopped at Bath and Body works for a while before he finished up his review session for school and came to get me for lunch.

We ate at my sister's restaurant with her man which was very cute. Love double dating with them; always have a fantastic time.

Jazzy and I went to the mall. Haven't had the pleasure of going there in forever and it was even better because he was with me. I got three peruvian bracelets (that art class changed me forever) and we looked around for perfume, cologne, shoes, hats, and lotion. Decided to head downtown for the perfume and cologne since it's so much cheaper. He got my old favorite for guys, Lacoste Essential and I got my old summer favorite, Escada Magnetism. Really though, those are not our scents but they still smell great. I got myself a new purse and we finished the day and into the night at my house with a movie.

Really I hate doing a "play-by-play" of my days. Reeks of unoriginality but, it was such a relaxing, fun, gorgeous time with Jazzy and that deserves so many more words that I don't have at the moment. I'm beyond blessed to have him.

To make up for my "unoriginality" I will write some reviews on the lotion I bought and the perfume and maybe the cologne later.

Starting on "hell" week tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Yours till summers aren't this damn good,
Adriana

I suppose I started my day off right. 80's music playlist challenge.

But I know I ended yesterday terribly wrong. Argument with the boy.
I hate fighting with him but I hate the fact that he never calls me back more. That he doesn't show how much he loves with me over the top actions and all that. He just isn't that type of guy and I knew that coming into this. I honestly don't need all that attention but I wish he could show me that I'm his world more than every once in a while. I know that he shows it to me in the smallest ways but... oh fooey. I'm the worst, aren't I?

I know how much it would hurt me for him to want me to be different (which he's never done). So I just need to work on being more patient and understanding about how he chooses to communicate his love to me. Because losing him over something like this isn't an option.

I finished up my minimester today. The really hard work starts this coming Monday, whoop de doo. A&P I with lab and Computer Info Systems. I know I can handle it. Just have to keep moving forward and hope everything turns out as it should.


I just wonder how much say I really have into shaping my own path... I'll save that for another post.

Yours till there are no more paths to trail,
Adriana

Space to breathe.

Space to heal.

Honestly, when they said that time heals all wounds, they weren't lying.

It's surprising to be contacted by my first boyfriend and not feel a single thing. I mean, excitement that I get to maybe patch things up with someone who used to be extremely important to me. (Guilty: I'm the type of person who wants to patch things up with anyone who wronged me, no matter how long ago it was. This usually gets me into trouble though. Trying to learn how to control it.)
But, apprehension that he'll try his old tricks again. But, confidence because I'm in an amazing relationship with my man and nothing anyone says or attempts to do can take that away from me.

And that, my friends, is such a big deal for me. Where before I would maybe try to flirt with him and keep it on the down low, now, I just want to be as cordial and nice as possible. Nothing more, nothing less. He's still a human being and he still deserves respect just as I myself deserve respect from him as well.

Yes, in my younger days, I honestly thought that nothing could touch me. I was invincible to everything, I could get away with it all, commence the evil laugh.

But you can't do that at any age. (Maybe as a baby but c'mon, show me a baby who can think on the level of deception at that age). And when you break someone's heart, you're only exposing the respect you're going to get. I really believe in the whole, Justin Timberlake, "What Goes Around (Comes Back Around)" (yes, I know that wasn't his original idea but he sings that song so well, gonna give him some credit right now).

No matter how much I get hurt by someone else, I don't want to become mean and resort to stooping to their level. True, in some circumstances, like bullying, I think you should stand up and tell that mo' fo' to sit down, shut up, and back down before you tell them exactly how you feel. There should always be respect though, some element of it needs to exist in everything that we do.

I'll step off my soap box now. I went off on a tangent.

I do need to tell my boyfriend though. Because I know if his ex-girlfriend added him, I would be... hmm. A bit bothered. I just need him to know that even though ex-boyfriend numero uno added me, doesn't mean anything about our relationship.

Growing up really did work. Learning from my lessons really paid off.

Yours till there are no more lessons to learn,
Adriana

Keeping it real.

Having productive days where I accomplish things that I set out to do and make time for the things in life that make me happy equals one happy self.
This is the last week of my Andean Pre-Hispanic art class. Honestly, my attention span is beginning to drift in class (I have no idea why, the lectures are never dull) but I'm still absolutely fascinated by the material being presented and, I'm pulling an A+ in the class.
It's strange how the first thing I ever wanted to be when I was a child was an anthropologist, even though I honestly didn't even know what the hell they did or what the hell the word meant. I know it's because there was a picture of Jane Goodall (who is more of a primatologist, no? But there is primate anthropology so I guess that's why they put her under that category.) and she looked so cool. I would just stare at her picture and want to be her. In retrospect, she looks so authentic and true to herself, I think that was what I was initially attracted to. At least, it'd be pretty cool to be attracted to that at such a young age.
The art class is more archaeology and anthropology mixed in with art. Sometimes I can't tell the distinction between the three and the class becomes this beautiful mosaic of the three. I love it. I could study this for the rest of my life. But alas, I'm going to have to stick to making enough money doing something else that I hope I love (I don't want to get into this other topic that I'm uncomfortably hinting at/skirting the issue of; another time, another place), and then with the money, journey over to Peru and see these amazing ruins.
Did you know that if you plop down on a piece of land in Peru (ha! Imagine someone plopping down on land...) and manages to set up a house, with animals, and works the land, the government will just let you have it after a certain number of years? FOR FREE! That's extremely fair I mean, Peru, depending on where you live (and I'm not talking about Lima or the other urban sprawls) is incredibly hard to make a living on so if you can do it, why not?
But if you want to pay and get a legitimate title and live on the beach, it's only $5000.
Sounds like my retirement is calling and I just turned 20.

Yours till I stop dreaming of those prehistoric shores,
Adriana

Day of Remembrance.

Happy Memorial's Day everyone. May those who serve our country, in every way, shape, and form be reminded today of how much you mean to all those who you protect.
Thank you.
May you know everyday that we appreciate what you do for us.

And that's all I can say about Memorial's Day. For an extremely private citizen like myself, that was already a bit too much.

As always, anything that happened last night is indeed a faint and far away memory for the boyfriend. The sun rose and instead of sticking to my head and choosing to not come back, I of course chose to stay. Is it a curse or a blessing that I am the firmest believer in the idea that people can and will always be inherently good?

I've also come to the conclusion that I will begin work on my novel today. Yes, after much self doubt and years of procrastination, I will start and finish the novel.
Are you all as proud of me as I am of myself? I hope so.

I'm also going to start copying down all my journal entries of worth and save them for a writing portfolio. Start preliminary research into getting published, but none of the self publishing stuff.

Wish me the best. I'm back to writing and I don't ever plan on stopping.
Tour de force in training.